akorn - Mighty Old Tales Retold

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg - Part III

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg - Part III
The town-hall had never looked finer. The platform at the end of it was backed by a showy draping of flags; at intervals along the walls were festoons of flags; the gallery fronts were clothed in flags; the supporting columns were swathed in flags; all this was to impress the stranger, for he would be there in considerable force, and in a large degree he would be connected with the press. The house was full. The 412 fixed seats were occupied; also the 68 extra chairs which had been packed into the aisles; the steps of the platform were occupied; some distinguished strangers were given seats on the platform; at the horseshoe of tables which fenced the front and sides of the platform sat a strong force of special correspondents who had come from everywhere. It was the best-dressed house the town had ever produced.

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg - Part II

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg - Part II
Hadleyburg village woke up world-celebrated — astonished — happy — vain.  Vain beyond imagination.  Its nineteen principal citizens and their wives went about shaking hands with each other, and beaming, and smiling, and congratulating, and saying this thing adds a new word to the dictionary — Hadleyburg, synonym for incorruptible — destined to live in dictionaries for ever! 

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg - Part I

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg
This piece of short fiction first appeared in Harper’s Monthly in December 1899.  Hadleyburg enjoys the reputation of being an “incorruptible” town known for its responsible, honest people that are trained to avoid temptation. However, at some point the people of Hadleyburg manage to offend a passing stranger, and he vows to get his revenge by corrupting the town.

1601 Conversation - In the Time of the Tudors

1601 Conversation, As It Was The Social Fireside, In The Time Of The Tudors
This humorous risque work was first published anonymously in 1880 and only acknowledged by Twain in 1906.  Written as an extract from the diary of one of Queen Elizabeth’s servants, 1601 was, according to Edward Wagenknecht, “the most famous piece of pornography in American literature.” However, it was more ribaldry than pornography; its content was more in the nature of irreverent and vulgar comedic shock than of “obscene” erotica.

The Jumping Frog of Calaveras County

The Jumping Frog Of Calaveras County
In compliance with the request of a friend of mine, who wrote me from the East, I called on good-natured, garrulous old Simon Wheeler, and inquired after my friend’s friend, Leonidas W. Smiley, as requested to do, and I hereunto append the result. I have a lurking suspicion that Leonidas W. Smiley is a myth; that my friend never knew such a personage; and that he only conjectured that, if I asked old Wheeler about him, it would remind him of his infamous Jim Smiley, and he would go to work and bore me nearly to death with some infernal reminiscence of him as long and tedious as it should be useless to me. If that was the design, it certainly succeeded.

Tom Sawyer Abroad - Chapter 13 - THE END

Chapter 13
Going For Tom's Pipe
BY AND BY we left Jim to float around up there in the neighborhood of the pyramids, and we clumb down to the hole where you go into the tunnel, and went in with some Arabs and candles, and away in there in the middle of the pyramid we found a room and a big stone box in it where they used to keep that king, just as the man in the Sunday-school said; but he was gone, now; somebody had got him. But I didn't take no interest in the place, because there could be ghosts there, of course; not fresh ones, but I don't like no kind.
So then we come out and got some little donkeys and rode a piece, and then went in a boat another piece, and then more donkeys, and got to Cairo;

Tom Sawyer Abroad - Chapters 11 & 12

Chapters 11 & 12
The Sand-Storm
WE went a-fooling along for a day or two, and then just as the full moon was touching the ground on the other side of the desert, we see a string of little black figgers moving across its big silver face. You could see them as plain as if they was painted on the moon with ink. It was another caravan. We cooled down our speed and tagged along after it, just to have company, though it warn't going our way. It was a rattler, that caravan, and a most bully sight to look at next morning when the sun come a-streaming across the desert and flung the long shadders of the camels on the gold sand like a thousand grand-daddy-long-legses marching in procession.

Tom Sawyer Abroad - Chapters 9 & 10

Chapters 9 & 10
Tom Discourses On The Desert
STILL, we thought we would drop down there a minute, but on another errand. Most of the professor's cargo of food was put up in cans, in the new way that somebody had just invented; the rest was fresh. When you fetch Missouri beefsteak to the Great Sahara, you want to be particular and stay up in the coolish weather. So we reckoned we would drop down into the lion market and see how we could make out there.

Tom Sawyer Abroad - Chapters 6, 7, & 8

Chapters 6, 7, & 8
It's A Caravan
I WAS so weak that the only thing I wanted was a chance to lay down, so I made straight for my locker-bunk, and stretched myself out there. But a body couldn't get back his strength in no such oven as that, so Tom give the command to soar, and Jim started her aloft.
We had to go up a mile before we struck comfortable weather where it was breezy and pleasant and just right, and pretty soon I was all straight again. Tom had been setting quiet and thinking; but now he jumps up and says:
"I bet you a thousand to one I know where we are. We're in the Great Sahara, as sure as guns!"
He was so excited he couldn't hold still; but I wasn't. I says:
"Well, then, where's the Great Sahara? In England or in Scotland?”

Tom Sawyer Abroad - Chapters 3, 4, & 5

Chapters 3, 4, & 5
Tom Explains
WE went to sleep about four o'clock, and woke up about eight. The professor was setting back there at his end, looking glum. He pitched us some breakfast, but he told us not to come abaft the midship compass. That was about the middle of the boat. Well, when you are sharp-set, and you eat and satisfy yourself, everything looks pretty different from what it done before. It makes a body feel pretty near comfortable, even when he is up in a balloon with a genius. We got to talking together.
There was one thing that kept bothering me, and by and by I says:
"Tom, didn't we start east?"
"Yes."
"How fast have we been going?”