Mark Twain - Chapters From My Autobiography - Chapter II.1

Mark Twain
Chapters From My Autobiography - Chapter II.1
My experiences as an author began early in 1867. I came to New York from San Francisco in the first month of that year and presently Charles H. Webb, whom I had known in San Francisco as a reporter on The Bulletin, and afterward editor of The Californian, suggested that I publish a volume of sketches. I had but a slender reputation to publish it on, but I was charmed and excited by the suggestion and quite willing to venture it if some industrious person would save me the trouble of gathering the sketches together. I was loath to do it myself, for from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be.

Mark Twain - Chapters From My Autobiography - Chapter I

Mark Twain
Chapters From My Autobiography - Chapter I
Back of the Virginia Clemenses is a dim procession of ancestors stretching back to Noah's time. According to tradition, some of them were pirates and slavers in Elizabeth's time. But this is no discredit to them, for so were Drake and Hawkins and the others. It was a respectable trade, then, and monarchs were partners in it. In my time I have had desires to be a pirate myself. The reader—if he will look deep down in his secret heart, will find—but never mind what he will find there; I am not writing his Autobiography, but mine. Later, according to tradition, one of the procession was Ambassador to Spain in the time of James I, or of Charles I, and married there and sent down a strain of Spanish blood to warm us up. Also, according to tradition, this one or another—Geoffrey Clement, by name—helped to sentence Charles to death.

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg - Part IV - THE END

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg - Part IV
At home the Richardses had to endure congratulations and compliments until midnight. Then they were left to themselves. They looked a little sad, and they sat silent and thinking. Finally Mary sighed and said:“Do you think we are to blame, Edward — much to blame?” and her eyes wandered to the accusing triplet of big bank-notes lying on the table, where the congratulators had been gloating over them and reverently fingering them. 
Edward did not answer at once; then he brought out a sigh and said, hesitatingly:“We — we couldn’t help it, Mary. It — well it was ordered. All things are.”

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg - Part III

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg - Part III
The town-hall had never looked finer. The platform at the end of it was backed by a showy draping of flags; at intervals along the walls were festoons of flags; the gallery fronts were clothed in flags; the supporting columns were swathed in flags; all this was to impress the stranger, for he would be there in considerable force, and in a large degree he would be connected with the press. The house was full. The 412 fixed seats were occupied; also the 68 extra chairs which had been packed into the aisles; the steps of the platform were occupied; some distinguished strangers were given seats on the platform; at the horseshoe of tables which fenced the front and sides of the platform sat a strong force of special correspondents who had come from everywhere. It was the best-dressed house the town had ever produced.

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg - Part II

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg - Part II
Hadleyburg village woke up world-celebrated — astonished — happy — vain.  Vain beyond imagination.  Its nineteen principal citizens and their wives went about shaking hands with each other, and beaming, and smiling, and congratulating, and saying this thing adds a new word to the dictionary — Hadleyburg, synonym for incorruptible — destined to live in dictionaries for ever! 

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg - Part I

The Man That Corrupted Hadleyburg
This piece of short fiction first appeared in Harper’s Monthly in December 1899.  Hadleyburg enjoys the reputation of being an “incorruptible” town known for its responsible, honest people that are trained to avoid temptation. However, at some point the people of Hadleyburg manage to offend a passing stranger, and he vows to get his revenge by corrupting the town.

1601 Conversation - In the Time of the Tudors

1601 Conversation, As It Was The Social Fireside, In The Time Of The Tudors
This humorous risque work was first published anonymously in 1880 and only acknowledged by Twain in 1906.  Written as an extract from the diary of one of Queen Elizabeth’s servants, 1601 was, according to Edward Wagenknecht, “the most famous piece of pornography in American literature.” However, it was more ribaldry than pornography; its content was more in the nature of irreverent and vulgar comedic shock than of “obscene” erotica.

The Jumping Frog of Calaveras County

The Jumping Frog Of Calaveras County
In compliance with the request of a friend of mine, who wrote me from the East, I called on good-natured, garrulous old Simon Wheeler, and inquired after my friend’s friend, Leonidas W. Smiley, as requested to do, and I hereunto append the result. I have a lurking suspicion that Leonidas W. Smiley is a myth; that my friend never knew such a personage; and that he only conjectured that, if I asked old Wheeler about him, it would remind him of his infamous Jim Smiley, and he would go to work and bore me nearly to death with some infernal reminiscence of him as long and tedious as it should be useless to me. If that was the design, it certainly succeeded.

Tom Sawyer Abroad - Chapter 13 - THE END

Chapter 13
Going For Tom's Pipe
BY AND BY we left Jim to float around up there in the neighborhood of the pyramids, and we clumb down to the hole where you go into the tunnel, and went in with some Arabs and candles, and away in there in the middle of the pyramid we found a room and a big stone box in it where they used to keep that king, just as the man in the Sunday-school said; but he was gone, now; somebody had got him. But I didn't take no interest in the place, because there could be ghosts there, of course; not fresh ones, but I don't like no kind.
So then we come out and got some little donkeys and rode a piece, and then went in a boat another piece, and then more donkeys, and got to Cairo;

Tom Sawyer Abroad - Chapters 11 & 12

Chapters 11 & 12
The Sand-Storm
WE went a-fooling along for a day or two, and then just as the full moon was touching the ground on the other side of the desert, we see a string of little black figgers moving across its big silver face. You could see them as plain as if they was painted on the moon with ink. It was another caravan. We cooled down our speed and tagged along after it, just to have company, though it warn't going our way. It was a rattler, that caravan, and a most bully sight to look at next morning when the sun come a-streaming across the desert and flung the long shadders of the camels on the gold sand like a thousand grand-daddy-long-legses marching in procession.